The Hokage of Oz
by SakuraDouble
Summary: Sakura is dropped into a world where her and Pakkun's only goal is to escape unscathed and sane. Can they do it with genin, a coldhearted man, a lion without common sense, a scarecrow, and a wicked blonde always getting in their way?
1. Chapter 1

The Hokage of Oz

A/N: Very much inspired by her picture, so this is dedicated to Lizmun. Enjoy! To see her art, go to devinatart and search: Hokage of Oz.

Disclaimer: I have recently discovered blackmail. Don't be surprised if Naruto is owned by me in the future and Masashi Kishimoto has "disappeared".

Chapter 1

Sakura tumbled out of the sky and hit the ground with a loud thud. Needless to say, she was not happy. "Damn it, Naruto! You always manage to get me into these situations." She looked down to see a very apprehensive Pakkun shivering in her arms. "You just had to drag Kakashi's dog down with me, didn't you?" She shook her fist at the sky and jumped up and down a few times with chakra filled feet. It was then that she heard a small groan.

Sakura looked all around her, wondering who had made the noise when, all of a sudden, Iruka popped out of nowhere and he was wearing a very frilly dress with a crown and wand. "Iruka-sensei," Sakura asked incredulously, "Why are you wearing a dress?"

Iruka shushed her. "That's not important right now. What's important is getting me out of this dre-." Before Iruka could finish, hundreds genin were hopping out of every little place at once, singing something along the lines of, "Ding Dong, Orochi's dead. Which old perv? Orochi-perv!"

Sakura was more than a little freaked out. Where had the genin come from? Why were they singing? And what had happened to this Orochi-perv? She glanced over at Pakkun, who seemed to be having some kind of seizure. _Poor dog_, she thought, _I hope he's not scarred for life_. "**Even if he's not, Naruto definitely will be. Cha!**" Were Inner Sakura's comments about the situation.

Sakura was lost in plotting Naruto's death that she jumped about half a mile when Iruka tapped her on the shoulder. "Sakura," he said, "I think your standing on one of the legendary sannin."

Sakura looked at her feet. Sure enough, right under her ninja combat sandals, was a very dead Orochimaru. "So that's what Orochi-perv stood for!" She smiled at her understanding of the genin, realized that she had killed Orochimaru, and did what anyone in her situation would do. She screamed at the top of her lungs and fainted.

When Sakura slowly awoke from her unconsciousness, she could see genin surrounding her from all around. Konohamaru leaned over her with a huge grin on his face and said she had done his town of Konoha a great service by killing the evil Orochi-perv. He asked if there was anything he could do to repay his and the town's great debt to her.

Sakura glared at him, glared at him again, and kept glaring until it was obvious he and his genin buddies wouldn't leave her in peace, nor say anything even remotely sane. "JUST LET ME FRIGGIN' SLEEP, YOU MUNCHKINS!!!" she screamed at them much to Inner Sakura's delight as she watched the genin scatter like rabbits. After that, she made sure that Iruka was watching her to make sure no little twelve-year olds would come and kidnap her in her slumber, she rolled over, yawned, and dozed off.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Disclamer: I haven't gotten around to my blackmailing yet. I wanted this chappie up more. Enjoy!

When Sakura awoke from her nice, long nap, she stretched her arms over her head and smiled. She had just had the weirdest dream ever, and she was so happy to be away from it. She opened her eyes fully and looked around, expecting to see her lavender bedroom walls. Not Iruka in a fairy costume. "Damn it! That wasn't a dream, Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka gave her a pitying look. "No Sakura, the genin are real and so am I. And before you go, I need to give you these. They're Orochimaru's secret scrolls. You killed him, you deserve them.

Sakura stood up and grabbed the scrolls from Iruka, stuffed them into her weapons pouch, and was about to ask how to leave this nightmare, when Ino showed up.

"Ino? Why the hell are you here? And why are you green?" Sakura asked her ex-best friend who happened to be standing in front of her, wearing a pointy hat nothing like the Third Hokage's and all black ninja gear.

"If you must know, Billboard Brow, I am here for those scrolls. I am so much better and hotter and smarter than you, that I deserve them way more than you do. So hand them over." Ino paused for a second and continued, "Oh, and the green stuff is actually an all-over body mask. I take it off in twenty-four hours and look totally glam. So anyway, the scrolls?"

Sakura stared. When would anything make sense here? "No, Ino-pig, these are my scrolls. I killed Orochimaru, so they're mine. Take that." For good measure, Sakura stuck her tongue out.

Ino fumed. "You better watch yourself, Sakura," she started getting louder with every syllable, "because I'll get you Forehead Girl, and your sensei's dog too!" With that, Ino tree jumped away, cackling.

"Well, that was weird." Sakura said, summing up Iruka's feelings as well. "So, Iruka-sensei, how do I get out of here?" Iruka was glad she asked a queston he wasn't embarrassed to answer. "That's easy, Sakura, just follow the Road of Life."

"Thanks, Iruka-sensei! I'll just be going now then." As Sakura, turned around to walk away, Iruka stopped her.

"Sakura, before you go, could you do me a small favor?"

"Sure thing, Iruka-sensei. What is it?"

"Well, Sakura, you know how Konohamaru interrupted us during our conversation earlier? I was saying how it didn't matter why I was in this horrible apparel, I just need to get out of it. So I was wondering, could you mumblemubleymumble?"

"I'm sorry, Iruka-sensei, what?"

"I said, Could you get me some new clothes while you're gone?"

"Actually," Sakura grinned, "I have a jutsu that'll get you some new clothes right now."

Iruka's eyes opened wide. "Could you get me the clothes, now then, Sakura??"

Sakura laughed, replied, "Anything for you, Iruka-sensei." and shot her hand down onto the ground. "La situation des sensei de fabrication d'Iruka plus mauvaise avec la lingerie aucun jutsu! " she screamed.

"I didn't realize you spoke French, Sakura." was what Iruka said while Sakura looked at her work, bit her lip, and ran towards the Road of Life, trying not to die laughing.

An hour later, after Sakura was long gone, Iruka realized that the "clothing" Sakura had chosen to replace his poofy dress was actually a very skimpy, frilly set of pink lingerie. He sighed. This was definitely the last time he asked anyone for help.

A/N: I couldn't help myself. I had to get the image of Iruka in a lingerie set out of my head and on paper. Next time: Sakura meets the scarecrow! Ciao.

-SakuraDouble


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

A/N: Hey everyone, it is here we will meet our scarecrow. Not very scary, huh?

Disclaimer: No. Okay? OKAY?! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!?!?!?! Excuse me for a minute.

Sakura grumbled. She was never, ever, going to blame Kakashi-sensei for getting lost on the Road of Life. "_It's almost impossible not to get lost on this road, with all the twists and turns_, she thought to herself. Good thing a crow flying in front of her face brought her out of her thoughts, because otherwise she might've missed the scarecrow in the field she was passing. And this was no ordinary scarecrow, this was a scarecrow who was reading a very dirty book.

Sakura was no longer shocked by anything. She ran with chakra filled feet to, what looked to be, Kakashi, nailed to a cross. "Kakashi-sensei," She asked, "Why are you being crucified?"

"Oh, hi there, Sakura. Would you believe I was lost of the Road of Life again when someone drugged and hung me here with chakra drainers?" was Kakashi's answer for her.

Sakura laughed. "Yeah, sensei, I'd believe that. Now, can you help me get home?"

She was expecting Kakashi to say, "Sure" or "Okay". Not, "I'm sorry, Sakura, I would, but I seem to have lost my mind."

Sakura just giggled. "Sensei, I don't think you're crazy. A bit eccentric sometimes, but not totally psycho. So can you help me?"

Kakashi gave her a very deadpan stare. "Sakura, I wasn't kidding. I have lost my mind. I can't help you if I don't know anything. And I'm taking that eccentric comment to heart."

Sakura could only stare. And then, she seethed. She finally found someone who could be of some help and he hadn't a clue of anything anymore. That was when she noticed a valid detail.

"If you don't have a brain, then why can you speak?! And how come you were able to read your Icha Icha books. Don't deny it, I saw you Kakashi-sensei!" She pointed an accusing finger.

Kakashi just shrugged. "Don't ask me. The Road of Life works in very mysterious ways, Sakura. You'll soon figure that out."

Almost as an afterthought, Kakashi added, "Sakura, besides the Road of Life working in mysterious ways, to read those books, you need more hormones than brains."

Sakura twitched.

"You work in pretty mysterious ways yourself, Kakashi-sensei. Could you at least help me find a way home? I believe Iruka-sensei said something about a hokage, but I'm not sure. Or are you too busy looking for your mind?" Sakura was still a little pissed off at Kakashi's lame "missing brain" excuse.

"No, I guess I could help you as long as you help me find my mind, Sakura. Deal?"

"Okay, Kakashi-sensei, it's a deal."

They nodded at the agreement, hooked arms, and went down the Road of Life, wondering what it would throw at them before they were finished.

A/N: Hope you liked it, next chappie will probably be up tomorrow. Don't forget to R&R. Au revoir!

-SakuraDouble


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

A/N: This was probably the hardest chapter for me to write so far, but I hope you enjoy it anyway! Have fun and beware the tin man's cold heart!

Disclaimer: Comes and sticks a sticky note on your computer. The note reads, "See any of my other Disclaimers. -SakuraDouble"

Sakura and Kakashi were walking down the Road of Life, discussing the practicality of kunai versus shuriken, when Sakura crashed into something. She looked up to see it was a very lifelike statue that reminded her of someone she knew. She was running her hand down one of it's tin cheeks when it started mumbling something.

Sakura shrieked and backed away to cling to Kakashi. "Kakashi," she asked, a scared look in her green eyes, "Why is that statue saying something to me?!"

"Sakura, you've been here long enough to know that things aren't always what they seem. Quite obviously, this is Sasuke, looking like a man made of tin, and he is trying to tell you something. Some fan girl you are." her sensei scoffed.

Sakura blushed a deep shade of pink and then regained her composure. " So what was Sasuke-kun trying to say, Kakashi-sensei?"

"I don't know. Why don't you just ask him?"

"Good idea, sensei." Sakura turned to face an irritated looking Sasuke. "Sasuke-kun," she said with a smile, "What do you want?"

Her reply was, " Irm mreeb friter."

Kakashi popped up in front of Sasuke. "Did you say you wanted Icha Icha?!" their sensei asked in a really, hyper, giddy voice.

Sakura stared at him while Sasuke seemed to twitch and say something along the lines of, "Hrel nose."

After going through what seemed like hours of guessing what Sasuke wanted, Sakura finally threw her hands up and said, "You know what you need, Sasuke-kun? A good dose of fire to melt the coldness surrounding your heart!"

That was when Ino appeared at the scene with a _poof_. "Ino-pig, where did you come from?" asked Sakura who had been expecting to be attacked by the trees that surrounded this part of the Road of Life before Ino showed up again.

"Well, Forehead," Ino began, "When a mother and a father love each other very much, they-"

Sakura screamed, "You know that's not what I meant!"

"Actually, one of my minion monkeys told me what you were doing and I heard something about melting Sasuke-kun's heart. I came as quickly as I could because, a) I should obviously be the one to melt Sasuke-kun's heart. I am so much prettier than you, and b) I want your secret scrolls because I'm better than you."

Sakura was about to bitch slap Ino when the _PIG_ threw a fireball at Sasuke. Sasuke began stretching his limbs and spoke, " Both of you girls, get the hell away from me. I have to avenge myself because Orochimaru froze me there." Sasuke started walking away down the Road of Life.

"But Sasuke," Sakura started, "I killed Orochi-perv. Um, I mean, Orochimaru."

Sasuke stopped in his tracks. He seemed to twitch sporadically, muttering something about having no reason to live if he couldn't avenge himself, until Sakura suggested he avenge himself because Ino stole his jutsu. He mulled this over and finally, agreed.

"So, where are you going?" he asked Kakashi and Sakura after having his "episode".

Kakashi and Sakura replied in unison, "We're going to find the Hokage!"

Sasuke thought about his options and eventually, opted to go with them. "Just no stupid fan girl moments, got it?" he said to Sakura.

"I understand Sasuke." Sakura pouted for a minute and then brightened. "We can get you a real heart there when we get Kakashi's mind back!" She grabbed Kakashi's and Sasuke's hands and pretty much dragged them down the Road of Life, while she hummed.

"But, but," Sasuke wailed in a small voice. "I like having a cold heart! Don't do this to me!"

His sensei and teammate ignored him as they continued their trek down the Road of Life.

A/N: Don't forget to R&R! I adore reading reviews! I love reading reviews! I- uh, think you get the point. Ciao!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

A/N: I wasn't feeling particularly inspired today, but I wanted to get this up for the enjoyment of all of you who read this story. So, um, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, the Boston Red Sox, or McDonalds. Doesn't the just suck?

Sakura was dragging a kicking and screaming Sasuke by his ears while Kakashi read his "little orange book of goodness" as they walked down the Road of Life when they bumped into a lion. Sakura dropped Sasuke's head and ran up a tree. "Take Sasuke!" she called from one of the tree's higher branches. Kakashi looked at the lion, shrugged and flipped to the next page. Sasuke screeched about how he would end up with a concussion and be eaten by a scary lion, all because off Sakura. Pakkun was hiding in one of Kakashi's surprisingly large pockets and was quivering. The lion looked at them all, wished he had a camera, and laughed. Sakura clamored down from the tree, angry eyes glaring, and walked up to the lion. "Nobody laughs at my tree climbing and gets away with it!" With that, she punched the lion's face in. And the lion started whimpering.

"Aw, Sakura-chan, that hurt a lot!" the lion whined.

"Naruto?" asked Sakura, "Is that you?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, you couldn't tell? I mean, I'm the only one that you ever smack upside the head, right?"

"Oh, Naruto, I'm sorry. You just shouldn't laugh at me for running away from a lion, even if it is only you!" Sakura exclaimed, laughing a little.

Sakura looked around to see if anyone was paying attention to her discovery that Naruto was actually the lion, and was sorely disappointed to see Kakashi still reading his little orange book and Sasuke still lying on the ground, pouting about how Sakura had let him to be eaten.

Sakura looked at Naruto and sweat dropped. When would they ever learn to pay attention to her? So Sakura ran over to Kakashi, put her hand in front of his book and screamed, "I FOUND NARUTO!!!!!!"

Kakashi looked a little irritated about his reading being interrupted, and Sasuke looked stunned at the amount of decibels Sakura had just released from her mouth, when Naruto walked over to them.

"Dattebayo! Come on, sensei, teme, Sakura-chan! Let's go!" Naruto was being his usual exuberant self and started walking down the Road of Life... in the wrong direction.

"Naruto," Sakura began, "I think you want to go that way." She pointed in the opposite direction he had been going.

Naruto grinned sheepishly. "Right, Sakura-chan! Let's go that way."

So Kakashi, Sakura, and Naruto hooked arms while Pakkun still hid out in Kakashi's pocket and Sakura pulled Sasuke along by his chicken hair, and headed down the Road of Life.

A/N: Tell me what you thought in the form of a review! I appreciate it all, flames, compliments, whatever you want.

-SakuraDouble


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

A/N: I can't wait for the next chapter! I'm finally developing some sort of events happening, instead of just "meet the characters". Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own, okay?

The former-Team 7 and Pakkun were walking down the Road of Life, pretty much getting along since Sasuke had finally decided he was man enough to stop whining and walk, when Kakashi, without looking up from his little orange book, pointed to a green speck in the distance. "There is a town. We should stop there to rest."

Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke looked surprised. There was a real town in this freakish place? Then Sakura remembered the last town she had been to. "Ohhh, no, Kakashi-sensei, I am **not** going in there. I'd probably be attacked by something worse than hundreds of genin." she said, waving her hands around.

The rest of her former team sweat dropped. What the hell was Sakura talking about? Then Naruto spoke up. "Ne, Sakura-chan, they probably have ramen though! I miss ramen." His voice got softer at that last part.

Sakura gave him an exasperated look. Naruto returned that look with a pout. Sakura sighed, threw her hands up and said, "Fine, Naruto, but you owe me."

Kakashi pointed again and said, "All we have to do is cross that poppy field and we'll get to the town."

Sasuke looked excited at the prospect of finally not running down the Road of life with his old team.

Kakashi looked happy about getting to a good part in his Icha Icha book.

Sakura looked eager to finally get away from Kakashi's porn.

And Naruto looked just plain enthusiastic.

So they all hooked arms and headed to the poppy field.

**An Hour Later...**

When they got to the poppy field, they were glad to find that the green speck in the distance was no longer a green speck in the distance. They would reach it's gates in no time.

Of course, as it turns out, this was no ordinary poppy field. This was a poppy field that Ino had booby trapped so that she could get Orochimaru's scrolls. After all, she was sooo much better than Sakura. And, in this not ordinary poppy field, Ino's traps managed to make Naruto, Sakura, and Pakkun fall unconscious. Sasuke and Kakashi just had these "What the hell do we do now" looks on their faces.

Fortunately for them, Iruka popped up, and was back into his frilly dress. Apparently, he had burned the lingerie. Sasuke and Kakashi both fell over laughing as Iruka waved his wand over the unconscious bodies. Sakura, Naruto, and Pakkun all got up, slightly staggering, wondering what had happened. Iruka had yet to go away, so Naruto joined the ranks of the dying-of-laughter.

Sakura had more important things to do than laugh at Iruka's silly fairy costume and Pakkun was just trying not to let his little doggie body take on too much stress from his current situation.

"Iruka-sensei, what happened to us?" was Sakura's question.

"Well, Sakura," Iruka began, "You fell under one of Ino's traps. It knocked you, Naruto, and Pakkun out. Do be careful, okay? I care what happens to you, even after you put me in that lingerie. Don't die."

Sakura giggled a bit thinking about the lingerie then looked up and Iruka was gone. _That's weird_, she thought, _but so is everything about this place_.

Eventually, the rest of her old team managed to get themselves off the ground. Pakkun jumped back into Kakashi's pocket. After that, Kakashi, Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto took off towards to little green village, looking forward to finally resting and getting some help.

A/N: Don't forget to tell me what you thought in a review!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

A/N: I updated. Yay! Actually, I had to, since Renalin updated Shadow Lands. Which you should totally read as well. It's awesome-ness beyond awesome-ness.

Disclaimer: I think you get the point by now. I doubt I'll ever get around to the blackmail, I have history class to worry about.

After arriving at the little green village, the team soon found out that rest and relaxation was out of the question. There was a little man who just would not let them into the village. "We cannot just let anyone into the Hidden Emerald of the Leaves," he began, "You have to be superior ninja. I'm talking superb ninja, where pretty much nothing can beat you."

The team was exhausted and this stupid man in front of the gates wasn't helping much. Even Kakashi looked like he was about to whoop this guy's ass. "Look Mister, we have been through so many frickin' annoying things since we got here, especially the whole 'Orochi-perv' episode. Just let us in!" Sakura go louder and louder with each word she spoke.

Now the little man looked interested. "What about Orochi-perv?" he asked.

Sakura sighed. "I killed him and got his secret scrolls. No big deal. Now, would you just-"

The man seemed to jump up and down enthusiastically. "Of-of course, you can come in! You killed Orochimaru!" He flung open the gates and let the the four of them and Pakkun walk right on in.

When they got in, they were in awe. So many colorful things grabbed their attention. Neon-colored kunai, ninja combat gear that changed colors, and so much else. After the crew got cleaned up a bit, (which included a very pissed off Sakura refusing to have her eyes dyed to match her "gown".) they went off, in search of the hokage.

"He'll probably be in the tallest tower, ne, Sakura-chan?" was Naruto's suggestion.

"We're not looking for a princess, dobe, we're looking for the hokage." Sasuke just **had** to get his two cents in.

"Sasuke-teme, that's not what I meant! Did you forget about Hokage Tower?!"

"Why don't we just ask someone?" Sakura asked, exasperated.

Everyone agreed on this, so they looked for a huge crowd of people. After all, _someone_ would have to know where the hokage was in a great big bunch of people.

Unfortunately, no one got a chance to ask anyone anything. They were to absorbed in what was written in the sky. Apparently, Ino-pig had performed some jutsu that let her write things with the clouds. Across the sky were the words, "_Surrender Your Scrolls Already, Forehead Girl!_"

The crowd was wondering and gossiping about "_Who on earth was this Forehead Girl?_". Sakura moved forward to the front of the crowd, blushing a bit. She raised a hand for silence and the crowd, surprisingly, shushed themselves. "Citizens of the Hidden Emerald of the Leaves. I am Forehead Girl, also known as Sakura. Could someone help myself and my team get to the Hokage?"

Many people were offering directions, so eventually, Sakura, Kakashi, Sasuke, Pakkun, and Naruto were standing in front of the doors to the Hokage's room. "What do we do know?" Naruto asked.

"We visit the Hokage." Sakura said confidently, and opened the doors.

A/N: I guess it's sort of a cliff hanger, but not to worry, the next chapter will be up by tomorrow! Don't forget to Read and Review! Adieu!

-SakuraDouble


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

A/N: Sorry for the shortness. It's early and I haven't had enough sleep, but I promised you an update. Enjoy it!

Disclaimer: Shakes head. N-O means no.

Kakashi, Sakura, Naruto, Sasuke, and Pakkun all walked into the Hokage's room with slightly apprehensive looks across their features. They had no idea what to expect from the Hokage. _Would he kick them out? Would he dismiss them? Would he come after them with an arsenal of flaming avocados?_ These thoughts and more zoomed through their heads. And while these thoughts bounced around like ping pong balls, a very large man appeared. Actually, it was just a very large man's face. And they all screamed.

After they were done screaming, the face spoke. "I am the Hokage of Oz," it said in a big, booming voice, "Why do you wish to see me?"

Sakura stepped forward slightly. "Well, Hokage, we all have different things we'd like, if you don't mind. We'll all state them."

"I'd like a brain and the new Icha Ich-," Kakashi noticed the death glare he was getting from all his ex-students and changed his mind. "I just want a new brain."

"I don't want anything."

Sakura pointed at Sasuke. "He actually wants a warm, caring hear that isn't surrounded by ice."

"I want to have common sense. That's what Sakura-chan told me to say. I also want to be the next Hokage. Dattebayo!"

Sakura smacked her head and was muttering obscenities under her breath when she realized she was supposed to say what she wanted. "And, Hokage, I'd like to get back home with Pakkun."

The Hokage's giant face laughed at them. "And what makes you think I'd do anything for you? What have you done for me?" His voice mocked them.

They all stood still, shocked. They had automatically assumed that the Hokage would help him. Now, they didn't have any idea as to what they could do to solve all their problems.

And while they all stood there, Pakkun jumped out of Kakashi's pocket and walked over to a curtain and pulled it open. Behind it stood a very small, old man.

The Hokage's giant face had been about to say, "Now, get out of here!" but was quickly saying, "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!!"

Of course, everyone looked and saw the man behind the curtain. And everyone was pissed off. "Why did you deceive us like that?" Sakura asked in her own booming voice.

"I am but a small, old man. People would not respect me; they would walk all over me! Besides, I'd need some sort of payment to be able to perform all the tasks you've asked of me."

Sakura spoke up. "And what kind of payment would that be?"

"A lock of Ino's hair."

They all grinned maliciously. "That's a done deal."

A/N: What'd you think? Tell me! Toodles! -SakuraDouble


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

A/N: I imagine I only have a few more chapters to go before I finish this story. In all honesty, I'm going to miss it. It's been fun, plus I got to twist around my four year old self's favorite movie. This is for all you people who have actually reviewed my story. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Somewhere, over the rainbow, maybe I own Naruto. But last time I checked, I don't in this reality. Let me check again. Nope, I still don't own it.

As the group of them walked away from the Hokage's tower to Ino's castle, the villagers were asking what that horrible smell was. The villagers didn't realize that it was the killer intent rolling of off the former Team 7. It's not like the grins they had on earlier were gone; quite the opposite, the grins had grown so that they creepily took up half of each persons face. Even Pakkun's.

And since they were so bent on getting revenge, they didn't notice that herds of flying monkeys were flying overhead, following them until the opportune time to attack.

Which was, obviously, when Sakura bent down to fix her sandal, Kakashi went to grab another little orange book from his pocket, Pakkun was shoved out of his pocket in the meantime, Sasuke stumbled and started cursing his tin feet and Naruto laughed at him. The monkeys swooped in to carry them off.

Now, while some generic ninja monkey minions of Ino, whom had no relevant details about them that make them particularly important, took turns ripping apart Kakashi, denting Sasuke, and hitting Naruto until he cried, Sakura and Pakkun were being carried away to Ino's castle by Shikamaru.

"Shikamaru," Sakura began, "Why are you doing this for Ino? Isn't it rather troublesome to be a monkey? And her minion?"

Shikamaru sighed. "Not doing it would've been more troublesome, believe me."

So pretty soon, after Sakura was about to risk her life and Pakkun's by punching Shikamaru in the face, they got to the castle. There, they found Ino cackling her ass off. "Ha! Forehead Girl, I've got you trapped. Now hand over the scrolls!"

Shikamaru sighed and flew out of the room; it was so troublesome when Ino was so over dramatic. Sakura and Pakkun were left to face her alone. Sakura sweat dropped. _When had Ino-Pig become such a ham? Usually she just went in for the kill, not played it for what it's worth._

"Well," Ino roared, "Hand over that which rightly belongs to me, Billboard Brow, or I'll have to rip it from your weapon's pouch!"

"Then take it from me, Ino-Pig, because there is no way that I'm willingly going to hand these scrolls over to you!" Sakura replied, triumphantly.

Ino began to seethe. _Stupid Forehead Girl, why couldn't she just go along with her plans? It was so obvious that she deserved those scrolls more than her!_ So Ino stormed over to try and take the scrolls out of Forehead's weapons pouch and...

A/N: Haha! I'm sorry, I know how much I hate it when someone has a cliffhanger at the end of their chapters, but I couldn't help myself. Besides, most of you already know the plot. I'm almost positive you know what's happening next. Oh well. Keep reading and reviewing my stories! Au revoir! -SakuraDouble


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

A/N: I know, I know. dodges flaming avocados I realize I have mad you all wait three days longer than I usually do, and for that, I'm sorry. But now I'm all relaxed and rejuvenated and ready to write more stories! So is three days and okay trade for a less stressed author? I say "Yes." and this is my story, so what I say goes. I say, "Enjoy!"

Disclaimer: I am but a poor, little, eighth grade girl. Not Masashi Kishimoto, or MGM Studios, as it turns out. So, one can infer that I do not own Naruto or The Wizard of Oz. (By the way, I've never owned the Wizard of Oz, I just though you would figure that out.)

It wouldn't budge open! Ino grumbled and tried to open the pouch again. It still wouldn't move, as if someone glued the flap down. Ino was really angry now. She performed the hand signs and attempted to enter the pouch's mind.

This didn't turn out particularly well, because, as Ino found out, pouch's don't have minds. As she released herself from the pouch and rubbed her aching head, she came to the conclusion that the only way she would ever get those scrolls was if Billboard Brow was dead. Now, she didn't really _want_ to kill her ex-best friend, but she figured that sacrifices must be made for the greater good. And the greater good said she deserved those scrolls, damn it!

Sakura was sitting on the floor, tied up, while Pakkun looked at her. Her pink hair was utter chaos and her clothing had seen better days, but at least Ino wasn't going to get those scrolls from her. She let out a sigh of relief then noticed that Ino had a very murderous look on her face. Sakura gulped. This was not going to be good.

An hour later, Sakura found herself tied to a pole in the middle of a sound proof room, covered in explosive scrolls and a timer that would set off a flame when it stopped. "Well, Forehead," Ino cackled, "When that timer goes off, those scrolls are mine. Too bad you won't be alive to see me use them to improve myself so that I'm even betterer than you!"

Even in her current situation of being about to die, Sakura couldn't help but mock Ino a little. "Ino-pig, betterer is not a word. You are supposed to say, 'More better'. Can you get that through your thick head, Pig?" She smirked.

Ino's eyes raged for a minute then calmed down. "Oh well, Billboard Brow," she began, "perfect grammatical skills won't help save you from your doom!"

As Ino said this, Pakkun took the opportunity to escape. Obviously, Ino wouldn't care if he took off as long as she had Orochimaru's scrolls to think about. And he was right. Ino didn't even notice that Pakkun jumped out the window as she cackled away.

Meanwhile, Kakashi, Sasuke, and Naruto had kicked those flying monkey's asses all the way to Timbuktu. They were sitting around, wondering how to save Sakura, when Pakkun showed up, panting and out of breath.

"What is it, Pakkun?" Kakashi asked his poor little dog. "Sakura," Pakkun breathed, speaking for the first time since he got to this strange place, "Is in the... castle... I'll show you where."

So the three men and their dog hurried off to save their favorite kunoichi from the clutches of Ino.

A/N: So??? What'd you think? Don't firget to review! Plus, here's the million cookies I owe you for updating so late. Dig in!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

A/N: Well, I feel so sad thinking that, pretty soon, there will be no more Hokage of Oz for me to write about. I'm almost finished! This is the longest thing I've ever written, and I dedicate it everyone who has reviewed any one of my fics. Thanks a million! And enjoy.

Disclaimer: No, okay? It's just no.

As soon as they arrived, they could hear screaming coming from within the castle walls. They figured that Sakura must be in trouble and burst through the heavy wooden doors with their awesome ninja skills! Actually, they just turned the handle and waltzed in. But what they found surprised them so much that Kakashi, Sasuke, and Naruto spazzed out and fell to the floor in a drool-y, seizure like, hormone induced state. Ino was making out with Sakura, and they were both very scantily clad.

After watching the sorry excuses for ninja fall to the ground in perverted male bliss, Pakkun sighed and dispelled the genjutsu. Wasn't it obvious that if Ino had trapped Sakura here that they wouldn't be necking like there was no tomorrow? He glanced at their smiling faces and grumbled. Apparently, not that obvious.

The three got off the ground and dusted themselves off, mentally smacking themselves for falling for such a stupid jutsu. Actually, it was more Sasuke doing the mental smacking, and Kakashi and Naruto wondering what the hell had happened to the girl on girl action. Pakkun rolled his eyes and guided them to the room where the _real_ Sakura was being tied up and not being made out with.

As Kakashi did a quick scan for Ino or those flying ninja monkeys, Sasuke and Naruto went to rescue Sakura. They opened the door and saw Sakura tied to a pole, humming something. Was that the Funeral March? Anyway, as soon as Naruto saw her, he remembered the genjutsu from earlier and fell to the ground. Sasuke sighed. It looked like this was up to him.

He went over to Sakura, carefully avoiding the exploding tags and wrapped his arms around her. She stopped humming immediately and became absolutely still. "Sasuke-kun," she whispered, "Since when do you show human emotions?"

Sasuke's left eye twitched slightly. Thank Kami she hadn't been there earlier to see his "emotions" about her and Ino. "Sakura," he began, "I'm shielding you. I am about to set the place on fire, okay? Don't freak out." With that said, he performed his Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu.

Of course, Sakura freaked out anyway. She was in Sasuke-kun's arms, couldn't get out, and he was about to blow them up. She closed her eyes tight and screamed, "Sasuke! What the hell do you think you are doing?!"

A few moments later, Sakura opened her eyes to see a very destroyed room and Sasuke smirking at her. "I was saving your ass, Sakura."

Sakura blushed. "Well, I would've been fine on my own, but thank you for saving me anyway."

"Hn. Let's get out of here."

That said, Sasuke untied Sakura from her pole and grabbed her hand. He pushed open the door to get her to safety and saw the last thing he ever wanted to see.

No, wait, Kakashi wasn't doing it with Naruto. Make that the second-last thing he ever wanted to see.

Ino cackling maliciously as Shikamaru held a struggling Naruto and Kakashi in his monkey hands.

Sasuke and Sakura had only one thought on their minds. _Well, shit!_

A/N: Muahahahaha! You have to wait to see what'll happen! I feel so evil, maybe I should give you the ending now? Hmmm... Nah. I'll let you sweat. Don't forget to review! Because only dorks don't leave reviews. And I don't want to call you a dork but... if the non-review fits... Sianara, Everyone! -SakuraDouble_  
_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

A/N: So, I know it took me long enough, but I just figured out how to get this chappie up with that stupid "error" thing always popping up. This is dedicated to Renalin, who showed me how to post this so I will no wbe hit by all your flaming avocados. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Yeah, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction if I owned them. There is no way I love you that much. If it makes you feel better, I'll keep writing even though I own the jeans I'm wearing. :D

"Muahahahaha!" Ino cackled while Shikamaru looked at her. He was only here to keep Ino's wrath away from his lazy ass and focused on Sakura's particularly large forehead. He tightened his grip on Naruto and Kakashi. He had basically captured them by using the same genjutsu that they had discovered at the door. He had only tweaked it a bit so that there was more tongue and groping involved. No big thing. But he'd thought they would have at least lasted longer than the ten seconds it took for them to fall in to drooling heaps on the ground! He sighed. Just about anyone could become a ninja these days.  
And while Shikamaru was thinking about Naruto's and Kakashi's idiocy, Ino was taunting Sakura. "Well, Forehead Girl," Ino began, "I'll give you props for escaping the room. But there's no way you're leaving now."  
"Pfft, yeah whatever PIG!" was Sakura's retort.  
"Billboard Brow."  
"Hooker."  
"Boobless."  
"Bitch."  
"BRING IT ON, FOREHEAD GIRL!!!" Ino lunged at her ex-best friend and started clawing at her face. "YOU'RE THE BITCH, PINKY!!" Sakura took advantage of the situation to grab a fistful of Ino's hair. When Sakura pulled, Ino let out a very satisfying shriek.  
"AAAAUGGGHHH!!!" Ino tried to get away, but only succeeded in getting her long, blonde locks yanked from her scalp. She turned to Sakura, murderous intent in her eyes and a small bald patch by her ear. "YOU. WILL. PAY. BILLBOARD BROW."  
Sakura smirked as Sasuke was still going over the cat fight that had happened a minute ago in his head. Damn, he thought, Sakura had looked hot fighting Ino. If only her clothing had ripped a little more, he could've- BAD THOUGHTS! As Sasuke began his mental smacking again, Sakura faced Ino. "Actually, Ino, you'll pay. I'm going to make you what you actually are." With that, whipped out a blank scroll, bit her thumb, threw the scroll down to the ground, and shouted at the top of her lungs, " Faisant à Ino un vrai porc aucun jutsu!"  
Sasuke stared at her. "I didn't realize you spoke French, Sakura."  
Sakura smiled. "Most people don't. But that's not important. Look." She pointed to where Ino had stood a minute ago. In her place stood... a little piglet with a pointy hat on. It was squealing.  
Sakura walked over to the piglet with a malicious grin on her face. "Hell, Ino," she started sweetly, "How would you like to be our next meal? Does bacon sound good to you?"  
Ino squealed some more and tried to steal the clump of blonde hair sticking out of Sakura's weapons pouch. Sasuke grumbled about not being able to avenge himself for his fireballs. Sakura pointed out that she hadn't killed Ino; just turned her into an animal suited for eating. Sasuke pondered this and came to the conclusion that he could still avenge himself.  
And after Sasuke had finished turning Ino into a smoked ham (with his katon), Sasuke turned to watch Sakura arguing with Shikamaru.  
"Shikamaru, you let Naruto and Kakashi go!"  
"No. It's too troublesome."  
"Do it, or Kami help me, I'll turn you into something much worse than a pig. Or I'll pound your face in. Got it?"  
Shikamaru gulped. "Yes, Sakura."  
Sakura smiled happily. "Thanks so much!"  
So Kakashi, Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, and Pakkun left the castle with the lock of hair, leaving a ham and troubled flying monkey, muttering something about "troublesome women", behind them.

A/N: Tell me what you though! Review, criticism and compliments, it's all welcome! Arrividerci! -SakuraDouble


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

A/N: I know I took forever to update, forgive me and keep your flaming avocados to yourself, but that's why I gave you a chapter that is twice as long as any of the others. It is also the final chapter, and I'm pretty sure that this is the longest story I've ever written. Also, this is dedicated to Ren and Missa, because they have just updated the most awesome story ever, The Eccentric Files, which I totally recommend you go read right after you read and review my final chapter! sniffles a bit I made sure to finish this before May, and I'm going to miss it, but it's time I moved on. Please, enjoy it, for my sake.

Disclaimer: You know what? I just finished this story and I feel many different emotions. Let's just sa, to help ease the pain a bit, that I own Naruto, Common Sense, and anything else that needs disclaimering in this chappie. And we'll really see if when I fight authority, if authority always wins. (Let's just say I also own the song that I just took lines from.)

The group of them headed back to the Hidden Emerald of the Leaves, and they were very excited that they would all get what they wanted. For Kakashi, a brain (and possible some Icha Icha). For Sasuke, a heart. For Naruto, some common sense. And for Sakura and Pakkun, a way to get back home.

As they approached the Hokage's Tower, they began to feel a little apprehensive. Could the Hokage really give them all that he had promised for a lock of blonde hair? They didn't know for sure. So they all took a deep breath, Sakura pushed open the door, and they all entered the room.

The Hokage turned around to face them. "Oh, hello," he began, "I didn't see you there. Back so soon?"

Sakura grinned. "You betcha. And we've got the blonde locks to prove it." She tossed the bundle of hair at him.

"Hmmm." The Hokage murmured. "Let's see." He proceeded to look at every strand of hair. After taking a good ten minutes of examining, he turned to the group and sighed.

"I'm sorry. This isn't a lock of hair. You're short four hairs. This," he continued, "is just a hair clump. I need a lock if you want all that you've asked for."

Everyone's face held a different expression. Naruto... confused. Kakashi... twitchy. Sakura... enraged. Pakkun... depressed. And then there was poor Sasuke. The look on his face could only be described as pain in it's worst form. "You.. you mean..." Sasuke began to stutter, "I... I... I.. still have... to put... up with... them??"

The Hokage gave a solemn nod. And Sasuke was soon consumed with his hysterics. The curse seal on his collarbone swelled and his features were soon covered with the black markings. He seemed to grow. "BUT, KAMI DAMN IT, I AM NOT PUTTING UP WITH THE DOBE, ERO-SENSEI, AND FAN GIRL ANY LONGER!!!" He ran at the Hokage with Chidori crackling in both his palms. The Hokage looked panicked for a moment and then calmed. "What is it that you want, exactly, Sasuke?"

The cursed seal began to fade as Sasuke took deeper breaths. He then jerked his thumb at his ex-team. "Not what I want. It's what they want. I don't care either way." He turned and struck his I'm-so-superior pose.

The Hokage laughed. "I suppose what you need is a heart, ne?"

"Uh..nnn..ooo." Sasuke stammered. "I don't need anything from an Old Man like you."

The Hokage raised an eyebrow, and whispered something in Sasuke's ear. He gave Sasuke a stethoscope and put the end piece over his own heart. The Hokage then walked away and Sasuke stood perfectly still. About a minute later was when his eyes bugged out and his hair raised even higher. "Is that for real?" He asked the Hokage. The Hokage only nodded. Sasuke's knees buckled and he fell to the floor.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura yelped and ran to his side. "Are you okay?"

Sasuke sat up and shook his head a little. "Yeah. I think so."

Sakura seemed to look around quickly and whispered, "Aren't you going to shoo me?"

Sasuke stared at her and then, to her surprise, he smiled. "Why would I get rid of my favorite kunoichi? I need someone to help me restore the Uchiha clan after all."

Sakura was in shock for a moment before whipping out a kunai. "Who the hell are you and what have you done with Sasuke-kun?" She asked the Hokage.

The Hokage laughed again. "That's the real Sasuke. I just showed him what love is."

Sakura stood still for what seemed like hours before screeching, "THIS IS SOO AWESOME!"

The Hokage smiled and turned to Naruto. "I understand that you need some common sense?"

Naruto nodded and grinned sheepishly.

"Well here it is," the Hokage handed him a small package with binding, "the original copy of Common Sense. It's written by Thomas Paine. I must say, I think you'll learn something."

Naruto thanked him and tore of the bindings. Once he found the weathered book, he sat himself in the corner of the room and began to read.

The Hokage looked at Kakashi. "And you need a brain?"

Kakashi smiled a bit, but it was only noticeable because of the small twitch of his mask. The Hokage moved to examine his head.

"Well, Kakashi," the Hokage started after a bi, "I don't think it's that your missing a brain, but that your head is filled with too much perverted nonsense." The Hokage then stepped back, performed a hand sign, and smiled at his work. "Ta-da!"

Kakashi walked around in a circle. He seemed to be muttering something along the lines of, "Why do I know hot to find the volume of a cone but I have no idea what sex is?" to himself.

Sakura stepped forward towards the Hokage. "And what about me?" she prompted.

The Hokage grabbed her hand and grinned. "I'm taking you home right now." He started doing the signs with one hand and was two signs away from poofing them away when Sakura yelled.

"I can't leave Pakkun!" She jumped out of the Hokage's grip, swooped away to grab the poor little dog, and turned around. "Can we start again, Hoka-." But it was to late the Hokage was gone.

Sakura's gleeful expression that she held minutes ago quickly changed to distress. "How am I supposed to get home?" she whispered.

Kakashi, Sasuke, and Naruto were at her side in a minute. "You could stay with us, Sakura." The said in unison.

Sakura smiled, but it was pretty pathetic seeing as tears were streaming down her face. "I'd love too... but I need to get home. You don't understand."

"I think I understand, Sakura." came a voice from the shadows.

"Iruka-sensei!? What are you doing here?" Sakura asked incredulously.

Iruka smiled at her. "Sakura, you've always been able to go home. You just needed to learn it the hard way. Now, I want you to take out one of Orochimaru's scrolls."

Sakura did as she was told.

"Now say, 'There's no place like home.' Okay?"

She snickered. "That's for damn sure. There's no place like home."

POOF

Sakura sat up in what looked like the white linen sheets, most commonly found in Konoha's hospital beds. Tsunade was standing over her, smiling.

"Took you long enough. It was annoying to wait for you." She turned to see Sasuke, standing next to her, smirking.

"Not really. I got to catch up on my Icha Icha." Kakashi was standing on her other side, with Pakkun sitting very comfortable in his pocket.

"Eh heh, sorry Sakura-chan, I guess I didn't realize that Kyubbi was messing around with my chakra when we were sparring and I mean-" Naruto grinned at her sheepishly.

Sakura looked around. _Well_, she thought, _that had sure been one hell of a dream_. She focused on her ex-teammates standing around her. It was good to be home.

"You know, Naruto, that doesn't mean I don't still owe you a beating."

"Eh! Sakura-chan!" Naruto whined as he dodged any objects she was about to throw at him and ran out the door.

Naruto could hear her laughter as he hurried down the hospital's hallway.

And they all lived happily ever after. At least, for a little while.

A/N: You know what to do. Let me wallow about the end of this in peace. (And just so you know, reviews don't interrupt the peace). Goodbye, enjoy your life, and perhaps you'll be seeing a one-shot soon. Maybe. That is, if you all are good little boy and girls and review, review, review! Okay, I'll shut up now, and let you do whatever it is you're supposed to be doing instead of reading my ridiculously long Author's Notes. Toodles! -SakuraDouble


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